I'm not sure what's going on with me to be truthful. Since we've moved back home I just don't feel like I have any direction in my life. My internship is over, but I signed on for another few weeks to assist in the archives. Ate is coming down in a few weeks and maybe that will help, but right now I feel very rudderless.
My garden is pretty much moving along by itself. The caterpillars ate most of my squash plants so I'm thinking I won't get anything from them. The sweet potato vines killed off my cucumbers, but the peppers and tomato plants are making a comeback and I'm hopeful that they will produce fruit. So far the only thing that has fruited are the green beans and the herbs. We got two jalapenos off Dad's plants and a few baby calamansi citrus fruit, but the wild grapes are coming in thick and our cultivated grapes are just about ready, so we'll at least have grape juice & jelly.
Because I don't really feel like I'm contributing anything right now, I've gotten on a weird survivalist kick. I've revamped my emergency kit and added a bunch of new items like a telescoping fishing pole and a headlamp and other items and have stocked up the garage pantry with dry goods, water, and MREs (meals ready to eat). It's not that I think the world is going to end tomorrow, I just want a bit more control over my life and this is an easy way to get it.
We have always had an emergency kit. I think it is intelligent to have something easy to grab for emergencies like hurricanes, earthquakes, and severe storms. Since I grew up with the first issue and then lived with the second for ten years, I know how very important it is to have something organized should you need to go to a shelter or get a flat tire on a rural road. The things I need to do now is organize copies of our important documents and add it to our kit. Sometimes I forget that should another Katrina hit us, all our paperwork might be lost as well, and that is not something I would want to deal with.
I've been struggling with the idea of going back to work as well as getting out of the anime world for a few months now and I don't see an easy solution to either of them. Normally if I felt this way I would go back to school, but I can't do that here with the residency issues, so I'm at a loss as to what I'm supposed to do with my life. I just feel very adrift and it's equal parts frustrating and terrifying.
